Is "speaking in tongues" today a true gift of the Holy Spirit?
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Speaking in tongues as it is practiced today among Pentecostals has nothing whatever to do with the gift imparted to some of the disciples in the first century. When you say that you cannot control your tongues speaking that is an indication that it is definitely NOT from the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 14:32,33 And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets. For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
Since you cannot control yourself in the matter of tongues speaking, you demonstrate that this is a psychological phenomenon and not from God. If it were, you would be able to exercise control in the use of the gift.
What modern "tongues speakers" practice is the same phenomenon called "glossolalia" practiced by Caribbean and Brazilian voodoo cults and many other pagan religions. It is a means of distracting sincere people from the real message of the word of God.
This phenomenon has been studied extensively by Linguists. There has never been an authenticated case where a tongues speaker has been shown to be speaking a real language. Not ever. If tongues are a sign for unbelievers, then scientists who examine tongues speakers should be very impressed. This phenomenon and the "faith healings" - really "fake healings" - that usually accompany it have been shown time and again to be the work of charlatans deceiving those who desperately want to believe.
I grew up as a Catholic and the Catholic church is a huge believer in faith healing through the "mediatorship" of saints and Mary in particular. The Roman church has been "caught out" many, many times deliberately misleading its flock in this regard. If the "beast" can convince its followers with "lying wonders" it is no wonder that others in positions of spiritual leadership do the same.
Many so-called "spirit-filled" evangelists have been shown to be frauds living sinful lifestyles while milking their gullible congregations for millions. There is money to be made in the flashy showmanship that passes for "spirit-filled" religion these days and the lavish life-styles of the current crop of "peddlars of God's word" belie their commitment to Christ. It is astounding how desperate human nature seems to be to put its trust in man.
"To the law and the testimony. If they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them." Isaiah 8:20.
I hope you have found this helpful.